01 11 / 2013

notimeforbrevity:

edwardspoonhands:

TRIGGER WARNING - SEX - RAPE

bressied:

cunicular:

Your first time is NOT supposed to hurt

You are NOT supposed to bleed

If you bleed, that is NOT your hymen being ‘popped’, it is a tear due to lack of sexual arousal and natural lubrication.

This is all a MYTH perpetrated by men so they don’t have to make sure you are comfortable and sufficiently aroused enough before you have sex with them. It is an excuse to disregard and hurt you.

I just really want people to know this.

x

Yes, the idea of “popping the cherry” is made up, it isn’t a thing. But saying “you are not supposed to…” followed by anything but “…do things you don’t want to do” is dangerous when it comes to our bodies, what they do, and what we do with them.

Sometimes there is blood during intercourse and that doesn’t necessarily mean that both of the parties didn’t enjoy themselves. Sex is complicated and maybe you bled your first time, maybe there’s pain as well as pleasure. Sometimes women are very aroused but not very “naturally lubricated”…that’s the reason the lube industry exists. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or that you should never have sex or that you were raped despite enjoying yourself. Likewise, a lack of blood doesn’t necessarily mean you weren’t raped or that you “enjoy being raped,” which some terrible people will maintain, and some abused women will, sadly, believe.

Hank, I think you’re fantastic, but I’m going to have to disagree with you. Because if it hurts and keeps hurting, there might be something wrong with you. And that’s okay. Sex should never be impossible. If it is, and it’s something that you want, seek help from a doctor.

I was married for a year before I was capable of having sex, and it took surgery and physical therapy to get there. I spent six months thinking that maybe I wasn’t a woman after all, or that I was a wimp because I couldn’t deal with the pain like everyone else. This was a lie. This won’t be everyone’s experience, but for about 1% of women, this is a reality. And this reality is valid.

Re-reblogging for this great point. 

  1. theressomethingaboutrico reblogged this from fuckyeavanity
  2. findingjavi reblogged this from hazardass
  3. dangerousbayou reblogged this from killingmesoftlywiththesesongs
  4. cuntfly reblogged this from fish-dinner-connoisseur
  5. a-view-of-the-sky reblogged this from theafrocentrics
  6. tittlefroids reblogged this from xoperfectxo
  7. luna-tan reblogged this from just-madman
  8. gwayordafreeway reblogged this from lexis-the-stick-figure
  9. rachelh reblogged this from punkcannon and added:
    THIS SO MANY TIMES OVER! My first time didn’t hurt because he care enough to go slow and make sure I was ok. I need...
  10. lovealways925 reblogged this from expecttheunexpected24
  11. letmeclaire-ify reblogged this from star-lites
  12. heartbre-akcalum reblogged this from punkcannon
  13. star-lites reblogged this from peetamellarkie
  14. beevee110 reblogged this from killingmesoftlywiththesesongs
  15. punkcannon reblogged this from skeletonsofficial
  16. e-maree reblogged this from bigbootyhoee
  17. sartrek reblogged this from hinsabbies
  18. drredrose reblogged this from killingmesoftlywiththesesongs
  19. les-mille-feuilles reblogged this from killingmesoftlywiththesesongs
  20. just-madman reblogged this from killingmesoftlywiththesesongs
  21. killingmesoftlywiththesesongs reblogged this from agronsmichele
  22. peetamellarkie reblogged this from lucy-in-the-sky-with-paul
  23. originalgoodsamaritan reblogged this from foshonie
  24. sarahftwmonster reblogged this from expecttheunexpected24
  25. asdfghjkl-evaa reblogged this from expecttheunexpected24
  26. ffunsnuff reblogged this from shutthefuckupcas
  27. expecttheunexpected24 reblogged this from seriously-youknow
  28. i-am--the-danger reblogged this from yogurtville
  29. apple-dean-jeans reblogged this from winter-soldier-smolder