09 9 / 2012

I had a bunch of people ask me to make this rebloggable so…

I was terrible at not getting beat up when I was in middle school. I did once put a three-ring binder in my jacket and when the guy who always punched me in the stomach every day punched me in the stomach he hurt his hand. But then he just took the binder out and punched me again.

But…things I’ve noticed that help:

1. Make eye contact. The eyes are a really powerful weapon, it’s easy to spot weakness and strength and I honestly believe that that’s where the real battle gets fought.

2. If a fight is imminent, say “I Don’t Want To Fight You!” and other logical things in a confident, forceful voice while looking in your assailant’s eyes. You may have to practice saying these things. Make the message simple, because it will be really hard to get out in the moment. It’s OK to be repetitive.

Also saying that you don’t want to fight them defines you as an active participant in the situation. Not just a scared puppet they’re controlling.

3. If you’re regularly getting beat up. tell people about it. Look, chances are, if you’re being bullied, you already feel pretty low, and going to the authorities might make you feel even more weak. But it shouldn’t. Trust me, you’ve got bigger things ahead, your position on the social ladder in school will not matter in the long run.

So even if you think you’ll be even more ostracized for ratting on a bully, it doesn’t matter. This person is putting you in danger and making your life miserable, so put your pride aside and tell a teacher you trust.

In the end, the biggest secret to not getting bullied is to not give a crap.

If someone calls you a fag, say “Oh! That’s why I look so fabulous!” If someone calls you fat, say “Wow! I hadn’t noticed!” Because they can only abuse you if you care. But not caring is, of course, the hardest thing in the world because we’re programmed to care. Just remember that you inhabit a different world than they do, and your world is better and more interesting, and their world, well…their world matters a little less.

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